Deep Existential Crisis

A mantra lodges itself in my head
"I don't know how long I can do this"
Building a platform or building a cage?
Wait, rewind, take it from the beginning.
I was in an ocean. The ocean of life itself
The ship named American Dream
Struck reality's sandbar and sank.
I had a choice: Wait with the ship
and cling to the flotsam
or dive out to open ocean.
I dove.
I dove and found myself in unfriendly European waters.
That's when I remembered the lagoon of my birth and made for it.
The lagoon, marginally less tempestuous than the sea,
received me and gave me a rotted log to cling to.
I gratefully clambered onto this log and rested.
The apparent safety of it like a blanket to a near-victim.
Now, from a drier, saner perspective, I look around me.
I look below me. This log, is this what I want?
Can I turn this log into a ship? Will she be seaworthy?
Or will I spend my life building it and never venture past the lagoon?
Second thing I notice is a rowboat. It is small but sturdy.
It will never be more than it is but with it I can already feel
the sea spray on my face. I can taste the ocean's beckoning call.
I want the rowboat, but will I regret that choice?
I give myself three months to wait and see.
If I swim for the rowboat, or start building a raft from this log.

Observations on Chilango Culture

1. The hairstyles and fashion of the poorer classes hold a strange post-apocalyptic allure. The bold contrasts between short, spiked forelocks and longer, curled rat tails would certainly be daunting if found in a pack of marauders roaming the skeletal tunnels of the city subway after society's collapse. The acid-washed jeans with the myriad of baggy pockets suggests homemade weapons or tools lurk at close range in every individual. Often I envy their apathetic view of social norms.

2. Manners are not only alive and thriving, but indeed a necessity to live in Mexico City. There are the common examples such as please, thank you, you're welcome and good day/afternoon/evening/night. Then there are the lesser known niceties such as saying buen provecho when you see someone eating, of offering your food when someone is not, and of referring to one's own house as though it belonged to the person one is talking to. (i.e. This morning at your house, my son broke a window.) Then there is the ever present excuse me or permiso, which can be replied to with propio. Which is a way of saying you are excused that does not sound sarcastic. Failing to follow these protocols, regardless of social circles frequented, may result in exclusion and others thinking you're a dick.

3. There is a code of honor when riding on a bus that I have found nowhere else in the world. Although theft, muggings and robbery have besmirched the name of Mexico City worldwide, this code of honor has remained unbroken as far as anyone I have asked remembers. If the situation presents itself that the bus is packed and the only way to ride is by halfway entering the vehicle through the back door and gripping the door for dear life, then the passenger will give his fare to the person in front of him. The passenger's money not only reaches the driver intact, but the passenger's exact change will return to him. In the tight confines of the bus it would be a simple thing to pocket the coins traveling in either direction. But this breach of protocol is as of now unheard of.

4. We are a very passionate people.

Lessons Learned

What is the use of permanent lines
If the same mistake keeps being repeated?
A fleeting smile, a thrilling laugh
Things as fleeting as night-blooming cereus
I must be ready to pull the line taut
Or risk losing her forever.
Now stop. Compose. And restart.
Let go of these ghosts
The light of the living beckons
Forget the regret, but never forget
The lessons learned the hardest way.

Morning Dew

And I heard your voice
As clear as day
And you told me I should concentrate
It starts so soft and sweet
And turns us into hunters
Hot on the trail of elusive prey
Prey so eager to be caught
I placed my hand in front
STOP. Let us play first
You go and hide and leave me a clue
A name and two letters: PW
Watch me track you down
Easy bores me
Impossible is just that
But you, you are just the right amount
Of coquette beauty
And daunting chase
You have five days
You may forget me or
Feel yourself fall for me
Either way, I'm coming for you
Watch me track you down