Friday, October 28, 2011

What the Water Gave Me

would that i could kneel at her feet
and cry
would that she would lift my face
and smile
would that we could sleep in each other's arms
and dream, of nothing.
Shaken by words i stand
jaw hanging limp and eyes wide with desire
under the everlasting awning
of butchered dreams of souls long passed
Still i hold on hope
Still im left to choke
No need to lift said noose
While venus clads herself in furs
No beast so vile as to assault my resolve
has ever walked upon the continents
I need, Elua, I need
And yet my visage remains stoic
The very essence of marble
Etched upon my brow.
So come, O, ghosts of choice unmade
Your mettle will be tested
And be found wanting
For I am all.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Shadow Games

"If you allow it to be, life can be a dangerously beautiful thing"
"Oh I don't allow it, I encourage it"
Evidently my wit knows no bounds.
But remove mind from words and place import on deeds
Where is this danger so bravely spoken of?
In physical harm? No, too simple by far.
In emotional pain? Wrong again the heart is too sacred.
It is in the mental anguish caused by the everlasting debate
Good and evil, right and wrong, the light and the darkness.
This is my stage, this is my fucking tightrope!
And I would demand a larger audience if not for one thing
Their sheer look of horror at the games I play.

Hands

The sides of your fingers
punctuated by small knuckles
is the part of you i dream of touching
caressing each plane in an impromptu dervish
our hands never breaking contact
never slowing their dance
Your nails on my palm
my calluses on your fingertips
I could watch our hands for hours
If only you were here

Thursday, October 20, 2011

i

An orange lowercase "i" flashes
Like a duck pond in the desert
Once an alien and exciting sight
Now familiar due to constancy
Another day subsists of
Bread, books and cowboy killers
And still the beacon flashes
Paris, what a shithole

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Beginning

And so an era comes to a close in the tiny world of me
I can look back and say, yes
I did the Europe thing
I saw the sights that everyone sees
I saw some others that few have
I am moving forward and
I am happy
And others might disagree
You might say its not enough
You might say its more than enough
You might circle your own head
Trying to figure out what I did
Or why I did it
In the end, it doesn't matter
This peaceful smile
The one Iv'e always wanted
To look down at others with
Now glows beneath the exterior
Where only some can see
No, I did not receive what I wanted
But what I got was so much better
So much purer than I could have wished
And now I go forth knowing
Instead of hoping
That I will put it to good use

PS. If you want to understand my metamorphosis
Understand this:
I used to see Little Lion Man as a song of despair
It is now a song about hope

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Chemical Imbalance

With my heart in my throat and my head in the clouds
I run up the stairs and eat shit on the landing
Lets start a rugby team, lets make pizza!
Lets dance in the rain like my heart is commanding
Finally I catch my breath, I stop to drink
I slow down and reduce my buoyancy to think
The match is not over and the miles are not less
There is still half a world to travel
So I square my shoulders and bandage my knee
And I go back to work lest my world should unravel.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Bottleneck

The longer I go without writing, the more I have to write about
And also the less initiative to do so.
So in the most nonsensical manner possible I will delineate my recent experiences.

Finland
A sun warmed deck precedes the night
Haunted by my mind's own demons
So gin, wormwood and Karjala
Keep them at bay until morning.

Now breathe deep the boiled water
Close your eyes lest they blister
Another cartridge, another ladle
And still no amaritas

Latvia
Yea!...yea, fuck yea! Its a good day.
Take pictures, get lost, find cops and urchins
Watch people, breathe smoke
1 million bicycles in Japan

See a face, billboard big
This is what you don't have
My heart drops, then soars again
This is what you will regain

Bruges
"I know I'm awake, but it feels like I'm in a dream."
Horseshit, this is real
As real as you or me
And it is all beautiful

Think of you and me and her and him
Think of everyone and sink into loneliness
Fueled by beer and cigarettes
Come to a decision and go!

I think I did a pretty good job, no?
Questions or concerns please contact Vincent
Van Gogh Fuckyerself

P.S. It's not supposed to be easy, that's why it feels so fucking good. --AWOLNation